REGION – Real estate is often portrayed as all power suits, marble countertops, and serious negotiations conducted in hushed tones. But anyone who has spent more than five minutes in the industry knows the truth: real estate is many times accidentally hilarious. From listing descriptions that stretch the limits of imagination, to home tours that feel like improv comedy, the funny parts of real estate are everywhere – you just have to know where to look.
The creative writing Olympics
Real estate listings deserve their own literary award category. Agents are masters of euphemism, turning even the most questionable features into “charming opportunities.”
For example, “cozy” means you can touch both walls without extending your arms; “delicious” to describe anything other than food is wrong; “needs TLC” means bring a contractor, a priest, and emotional support; “original condition” means nothing has been updated since the Carter administration.
And then there are the listings that go full poetic chaos: “sun-drenched” rooms that never see direct sunlight, or “open concept” homes where someone just removed a door in 1994 and called it a day.
Photos that raise more questions than answers
Listing photos are another gold mine. There’s the classic wide-angle lens that turns a half bath into what appears to be a ballroom. Then there are the mystery items – a random mattress in the kitchen, a single chair facing the wall, or a refrigerator inexplicably located on the back porch.
Let’s not forget pets. Cats lounging proudly on countertops. Dogs photobombing every room like they pay the mortgage. A pot-belly pig that lives in the basement or chickens free ranging the entire first floor (we are in Vermont, after all).
Bonus points for the agent who didn’t notice themselves reflected in a mirror mid-photo, crouched like a gremlin.
Open houses
Open houses are where real estate becomes performance art. You’ll meet the neighbor who “just wants to see what it sold for last time”; the couple loudly critiquing the house as if the walls can’t hear them; and the person who uses the open house as a bathroom break during their walk or ski.
The emotional roller coaster
Real estate is dramatic. Deals fall apart over $500. Appraisals ruin weekends. Inspections uncover things no one emotionally prepared for (“Wait…the house is missing what?”).
Everyone is calm until they’re suddenly not. We are people, and sometimes spiral over light fixtures, drapes, and rose bushes.
Why we love it anyway
Despite the chaos, real estate’s humor is part of its charm. It’s a people business, and people are wonderfully unique. No two real estate transactions are alike. We are human; we have questions, concerns, phobias, anxiety, fear of heights (and remember after climbing a ladder to a second-story home at a construction site). Buyers, sellers, people should ask questions, and lots of them. As professionals, we don’t always have the answers at our fingertips, but we know where to get them, and we don’t stop until we do. We are a trusted source for our customers, clients, and community for all things real estate.
At the end of the day, real estate is about homes, dreams, stress, money, and emotion all colliding at once. Of course it’s funny. Sometimes you laugh so you don’t cry. Sometimes you laugh because someone staged a bathroom with three identical soap dispensers and six ferns. Finding humor in the simple, ordinary stuff in our everyday real estate transactions is part of what keeps us on our toes. We are lucky enough to meet and help people with sometimes scary big decisions, and many times lighthearted fun ones. We realtors are up for it all.
Written and submitted by Suzanne Garvey, owner/broker at Mary W. Davis Realtor & Associates.