Romance scamming, also called catphishing, is a growing menace that impacts millions of people of all ages. Much of the threat results from the current pandemic and is fueled by less social interaction, more isolation, the deaths of friends and family members, and general boredom, leading many to find companionship via the internet. The impact is greater on the elderly who feel less connected, more stressed, anxious, lonely, or depressed.
Social media has become a gathering place for many. While dating websites aggressively market their services, so have on-line chat rooms ballooned in numbers to fill what many see as gaps in their lives. Enter the scammer who may register in social media, chat groups, or even with dating web sites. The scam can take several months to develop. During that “warm up” period, the scammer builds a “sincere” relationship by sharing real or created personal stories, fake credentials, and stock photos to create believable profiles. Con artists use distance to separate themselves from direct contact by pretending to be in the military, employed in a remote location, or serving with a humanitarian agency in a third world country.
The trap is sprung with a hardship story: family illness, unreliable transportation, gambling debts, or legal fees. It really doesn’t matter. The stories are endless and the message does not vary – send money! Given the time expended in building the relationship, the story is believed and the targeted person sends money. Victims repeatedly send money to help their needy friend who they care about.
Combating romance scams is difficult. The victim frequently defends the predator and refuses to listen to reason. Enlisting the assistance of a family member, close friend, clergyperson, or physician may be of some assistance, but consider discussing the issue with local law enforcement as well. Telling people to stop on-line dating, particularly in the age of Covid, will not work. Education is often the best defense.
There are some dead giveaways to romance scams: requests for money, which are often via gift cards, wire transfers, or e-cards; refusal to meet in-person; and attempts to move the relationship from “public” settings to private exchanges. The problem may likely be solved by a method stated on the website www.atlasvpn.com: Don’t give money to anyone you have not met in person. Other tips include:
– Stop communicating if you believe you are dealing with a scammer;
– Take things slowly in the relationship; give yourself time to ask questions and check out answers;
– Try a reverse image search on the internet to see if pictures you were sent are stock images of photos connected to another person
– Learn more about romance scams at www.ftc.gov/romancescams or www.aarp.org/scams.
Finally, make a dent in this criminal activity. File a report with the Federal Trade Commission – www.ftc.gov/complaint or the F.B.I. – www.Ic3.gov.
Questions or Comments? Email egreenblott@aarp.org. Elliott Greenblott is a retired educator and coordinator of the AARP Vermont Fraud Watch Network. He hosts a CATV program, Mr. Scammer, distributed by GNAT-TV in Sunderland, VT – www.gnat-tv.org.